Wibble wobble

Phew it’s so nice to finally sit down I have been really busy today which is good in some ways because I haven’t had much time to dwell on food fright although as the title says I did have a wobble this afternoon. I went to see my new dentist this morning he is great I had my filling done finally then I had to go to the bank to sort my savings account then over to nans for her to witness my pension form, then to the post office then back to nans to take her up to my grandads grave it’s 4 years today. I very often think of him I have his picture on my fridge so I see him all the time can’t believe it’s been that long! Then we went to pick my mum up and I dropped them both into town then back home for five mins then I went out to caerleon with my daughter and her friend Katie I thought we were just having coffee but as it was lunch time they wanted to eat so I had no time to think or prepare myself to eat out. I could feel my anxiety rising but I was determined to try and push through so I ordered a hummus and salad wrap it came with a few crisps and some coleslaw I won’t lie it was good however as soon as I had eaten it I started to panic about how many calories I had eaten and what if I put on weight, what if it wasn’t prepared right arrgggggg brain overload so as soon as I came in I got on the treadmill and ran for an hour which made me feel better about it I’m still a bit anxious but I just had soup and 2 rivitas for tea so I’m hoping it will balance out. I’m supposed to see my psychologist tomorrow but I may cancel he won’t be impressed that I have gone back to all my negative behaviours but I can’t explain it, they are like my security blanket I need them right now too many things going on good and bad but I need to get back some control and food control helps right now. So although I had a wobble it’s been an okay day. I thought I might make you laugh by showing you a picture of my lopsided smile after the dentist and my 2 girlies

Honest I am smiling although looking closely it looks more like a grimace lol.